Anger......

I am not an angry person, so when anger gets thrown my way the only way I know how to react is to cry. I cant yell back or be angry back! I understand that my family is going thru so much right now and the only way for people to deal with grief is to YELL and be ANGRY!

I just have to keep telling myself that no one is angry with me per say, but angry with the situation. Angry with death... Even though death is a part of life, no one knows how to cope with it.. We all have to cope in our own ways.. Some yell and some cry..

I just keep telling myself, this to shall pass...

I know my Grandpa wouldn't want all this bickering and hatefulness, So I will just take it all in and hope it all passes soon..

My grandfather is in surgery as I type, hes having a skin graph done and it should take about three hours! His chances of surviving is 50-50..

Please pray for my family, please pray for my grandpa, please pray for the anger and that it will soon be gone!

I am not ready to say goodbye...

My Grandpa is really sick, hes been in ICU for 2 weeks.. He is in kidney failure, heart failure and his lungs keep retaining fluid. On top of all of this, a week ago he started swelling from his waist down. They said he was in toxic shock and had to do emergency surgery to remove gangrene.. It was life or death.. He almost died on the operating table, it took alot to keep him alive. He just came off the breathing tube this past weekend. He said he knows he is dying and he sees the light, he said he is ready to go!

My grandpa has to have another surgery, it was supposed to be tomorrow but hes not strong enough for the surgery right now..

Please continue to pray for my grandpa and my family. I wish our visits were not limited to just 4 visits a day =(

I know my grandpa has lived a long and happy life, But I am not ready to say goodbye!

Wordless Wednesday.......

Its over......

Jennifer had her surgery today. She had to be there at 6 am and they took her back around 7 am. A lil after 9 she was wheeled to recovery and around 10 we were able to finally see her! She was only put to sleep mildly because they put a pain block in her arm. They recommended that so she would come out of surgery feeling better and not so sick. She was up and eating Subway in the room about ten mins after ten.. The pain block wore off not to long ago and she started hurting but I gave her some pain meds and she is sleeping *for now*.... I can only imagine how hard it is to get comfortable with this big half cast splint thing on her arm... But she looks so peaceful right now sleeping....

I am so sleepy and have been up since 445 am. But thanks to round 2 of our storms we are getting here in Kentucky, I cant sleep. Thanks to everyone who has kept Jen in their thoughts and prayers! I will keep you updated on her progress!!

Surgery

Well Jen went to her Ortho today and her test revealed that she has 4 pinched nerves in her arm. Nothing else can be done but surgery..... She goes in on Tue morning for her Surgery, Its a simple procedure but as any surgery there is always risk! She is scared and I understand that fear.. She will be in a cast for 2 weeks and then off work for a week. He wanted her off work for 4 weeks but since she has a desk job and really only needs one hand to do her job, he said okay!
I will keep you updated on Tue how everything is going. Until then she is on pain meds to try and make this week go by a lil easier for her!!!

If everyone could please keep her in your thoughts!!

Thanks =)

Been MIA

Sorry I haven't been around much! Its been a hectic around here with Jen's Drs appts and getting ready for school to start back. I cant believe that my kids go back to school in 8 days. I go register Michael tomorrow for middle school. I am still in shock that my son is going into 6th grade. Its going to be a different world for him but I know he will adapt quickly.

Spencer just got home from Texas, He spent 2 weeks with my mom and sister. He had a blast fishing and swimming. I missed him like crazy and told him that he can not ever leave me again..

We have also been busy with Jens Dr appts, She has some nerve damage in her arm and is back and forth with test and ortho appts. She is always in so much pain and I feel so bad for her. We head back to Dr in the morning to get results of her last test and figure out when she will have surgery! They are going to go in and look around and release some nerve tension. Thankfully she will not be out of work for very long. She is just eager to get this surgery over and done with.. And I agree, I just don't want to see her in pain anymore.

I have still yet to finish my story when it comes to *mysecrets* but I will, I promise! I just gotta get through these Dr's appts with her and getting the kiddos off to school. Then it will just be me at home! WOW, all day long no kids, Just mommy time!! So please bare with me for the next few weeks and I will get back to where I left off!!!

And before I close this post for the night , Please remember to keep Baby Stellan and his family in your prayers!